Yesterday (Thanksgiving) was the 5 month anniversary of Lily's passing. I doubt anyone knew, but every 24th of the month rests heavy on my heart. As December approaches I find myself apprehensive. Stores are becoming more delightfully decorated with Christmas. Twinkly lights, trees, carols in the radio, all lovely things that remind us of our Savior's birth, and remind me of my Lily's life.
I am not looking forward to this next month, and I know that my blog is a mixture of depression and hope at the moment. I won't apologize for it. I'm grieving. Grief has lows and highs.
Next month there will be several days that I probably will struggle with...
On Dec 19th Lily will have been gone the same number of days as she was alive.
Dec 24th (yeah...Christmas Eve), will be the 6th month anniversary of her passing.
Dec 25th (Christmas), Lily's Due Date last year.
Dec 30th, Lily's 1st Birthday.
Doomsayers will probably tell me "You're only causing your own problems by telling yourself those days will be hard, thus, if those days are hard it's your own fault."
To them I say... "You don't understand grief." (I could say more, but I was raised to be polite.)
If I happen to look depressed. In fact if anyone around you recently lost a loved one... and they look depressed, or sad, or unhappy, or tired.
Do. Not. Say. : "You look tired." "Why aren't you smiling." "You look sad." "Ugly, ugly face." "What's a matter, grumpy?" "You look grim."
I understand these comments are made because well intentioned people want to help...but if you do this you are only adding to the depression.
Instead please.... Ask them to play a game, or do a task and DON'T comment on their depressed state.
If I want to talk, I'll bring it up.
....Otherwise remember what your mother should have taught you....
"If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all."
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