My brother's son passed away last week. It was unexpected and sudden. For Andrew & I it brought back memories of Lily in full force.
Despite knowing that Lily was going to pass away, that her little digestive system had shut down, that she couldn't have heart surgery (pulmonary hypertension sucks) and was receiving all the medical care we could provide without success. Even hearing her monitors blaring from her failing oxygen, even though it was maxed out too... We had hope.
Hope that she would be with us another day, another hour, another second.
Hope that she would live. That we would be greeted by her smiles even if that was all she ever did. We had hope.
I could hear that same hope as my mom related to me the information from my brother regarding his son. I could hear the hope. One more day. One more hour. One more second.
The hope of a loved one remains after death, however the hope changes. As we, Earthly beings are left behind hope remains with us as a steadfast reminder of Eternity. The hope that we will see our loved one again. That we will be reunited with them. To greet them whole and perfect and to be able to raise those young children whom we lost too soon.
Tonight I read to the kids from Mosiah chapter 13. Specifially these chapters regard Abinadi.
"8 Yea, and my words fill you with wonder and amazement, and with anger.
9 But I finish my message; and then it matters not whither I go, if it so be that I am saved."
Abinadi is referring to court and people of the wicked King Noah, who on hearing Abinadi was there to preach the gospel to his people, ordered Abinadi to be slain. Yet, Abinadi warns the people that he cannot be touched or harmed until he delivers the message God commanded him to deliver. He recognizes that the people may be "filled with wonder, amazement" or even "anger".
It is the same with grief.
Grief fills you with wonder about Heaven, is it real? Can I go there? Will my loved ones be there?
Amazement. There is a joyous side to grief which is hard to explain. It is the amazement of feeling Gods love and support for us during this difficult time. It is also the joy emanating from our loves one whom we lost reasurring us that Heaven is real, that God does command Heaven, that his plan is perfect. If we could only step into the next room we would be able to behold out dear ones fulfilling God's work for the completion of His plan of happiness.
Lastly, anger. Anger can be righteous. When Jesus Christ the Lord threw the people out of the temple who were using it incorrectly, he was exercising righteous anger. If we use our anger from grief as a reminder to keep ourselves worthy for temple and heavenly blessings, then I can understand its worth. But if we use anger to be hardened towards God then it is incorrect.
I know that the verses in Mosiah weren't talking of grief. Yet, that is the lesson I needed to hear tonight. It's my own interpretation. Don't read into it as truth. The Lord speaks to our hearts individually for what we need to hear.
As Abinadi spoke to the people of Noah, the Lord did protect him so that His message could be delivered.
Lily before she passed away brought a spirit of great peace to all who met her. Days before her passing each of my children unprompted sang to her primary songs. Lily helped them know and feel the spirit. She taught them what it means to have guidance from the holy ghost.
Days before my nephew passed away, he too in his own way shared the gospel with those whom he came in contact.
What an amazing mission these sweet souls completed here on Earth. I look forward to hearing about their Spirit realm missions.
May God be with you, till we meet again.
