TBRI

I've been taking an interesting class. It's a parenting course called TBRI or attachment-based, trauma-informed intervention that is designed to meet the complex needs of vulnerable children.

Basically it teaches you or gives you ideas for how to better raise a child how has experienced neglect, trauma--such as exposure to drugs/alcohol/teragens. 


It explains various ways of parenting, how to create secure attachments with yourself and others/your kids. It also sorta turns parenting on it's head so to speak. Most parenting has more correcting than connecting. TBRI wants more connecting than correcting. I actually like the class. Though, it definitely brings to light places where I want to improve.

Every class starts out with a nurturing group. They want us to incorporate nurturing groups at home and so far... I've been able to do some. Nurture groups start out by going over the rules of the home--we only have 3 rules. Stick together. Stay calm, Have fun.  Then, they teach us a calming strategy. (bowl of soup, magic mustache, draw a box). We 'check our engines'-- are you sad (blue), just right (green) or uptight/distressed (red). We give each other band-aids: Do you have any hurts today? Can I put a band-aid on it? Then we have a trust/feeding activity. Would you like a treat? Here you go. A puppet play activity where you practice phrases like "with respect". You act out puppets not having respect, cheer about it. Then say, let's try again--with respect. The scenario plays out again but with respect and we cheer about it again. That's basically it.

There's lots of data backing up this style of parenting which I appreciate. After the nurturing group we study the reasons behind behaviors and discuss how to improve where we can. I just wish I had the immediate funds to try everything with my kids (for example buying a huge box of bandaids, puppets, fidgets and treats...)

Speaking of treats, I'm hungry. I should go eat something.

Alex's Birth Story

I'd been having contractions on/off since Dec 27th. On Dec 31st I had contractions from 1am-2:30am, then again woke up with contractions at 6am. They left and returned at 10am.

At 2:20pm I left for a doctors appointment at my OBGYN's office. They did a short ultrasound and stress test (during which, I had 1 contraction) then I saw the doctor and asked him to strip my membranes. Dr. Ollerton stripped my membranes (around 3:30pm)  and I left the office. I took the stairs down (3 flights) and then hiked to my car which was purposely parked in the furthest parking spot possible.

I texted Andrew. Our baby was measuring at 42 weeks 5 days, estimated to be around 9-10 pounds.

I went to the grocery store to pick up a couple of New Year's Treats - caramel for apples, a green apple Jone's soda, gobstopper valentine hearts, and cheddar sour cream chips. Again, I hiked back to my car-purposely parked at the further spot available at the grocery store.

Andrew texted me back, "So, they should induce you now." My inducement date was set for Jan 7th, and due to size, was going to be a c-section.

I went home to my kids (being babysat by Grandma Rosenvall). I ate 2 cheddar sour cream chips and sat down on the couch. Sharp contractions started immediately. My mother in law (grandma Rosenvall) looked at me and said, "I'm going to plan on being here longer."

I texted Andrew, "What time do you plan to be home from work?"

3 contractions, 5 minutes apart and my mother in law asked, "I think we should call Andrew home." Immediately, I heard the garage door opening-Andrew was already home. (He had a feeling to leave work quickly.)

He came inside, grabbed the maternity bag and we left. We arrived at Mountain Point Medical around 5pm. I was hooked up to monitors, and checked-dilated 5.5+. Contractions continued every 5 mins. Because of strep b, they had to give me antibiotics for an hour. Then, right as my doctor was about to break my water, he was called to an emergency c-section, so... we ended up having to wait until after 8pm.

He warned me that if I didn't get an epidural before breaking my water that it might be too late. I opted to risk it...

He broke my water--which actually took 6 tries-- it was tough.

My contractions immediately increased. About the time I really wanted an epidural, Andrew asked the doctor to check, I was dilated to a 9. Next thing I knew, Dr. Haskett said, "Push on the next contraction." I did and I screamed. Baby Alex was out on only 1 contraction, 3 and a half pushes.

No epidural, no meds. I've always wanted to try that once in my life.

Alex Oliver Rosenvall
9lb, 2 oz
22 inches
9pm
Dec 31st, 2018